Thursday, 2 April 2020











Didn’t plan to write this yet here I am.

Very timely to receive an affirmation of what I was feeling and going through. I wonder if any of you feel what I felt and how to keep yourselves from further damage if unaware of such a thing.
This may not be true to some coz they may not possess this degree of experience (at the same time, this doesn’t mean some haven’t got any in these within) or be totally honest with ourselves.
But for some of us, this is real and it matters. This does not in any way shout out ‘weakness’ in any form. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

This is something I cannot help myself with. I am made this way and I just need to learn how to live (not cope. Coping is brushing the matter underneath the carpet) and deal with it. To stay above and rise up against the tidal wave washing over me. I am very careful, choosing wisely what and how much information to read, receive or take in. You may notice, I sometimes do not open or see all the forwarded messages or videos sent. This is my way, of sieving what is needed and what is not needed for my well-being.

Yet, I was hit hard!

Last Friday, after the crazy mad rush or doing all the essential shopping (Left about 11am, which took 3 hours +, what would’ve taken only an hour +), before completely being locked down … I came home completely zapped out and exhausted beyond words.

I felt all the anxiety, tension, stress and weight around me when I was out. Before that, as I got ready to go out I’d somehow felt like I was going out for a ‘battle’ (later, I realised what the battle I was preparing myself for) and it sure did feel like it (though not in the physical realm but in the unseen – the energy and air around).
Did all the necessaries at home and by the time I finally sat down (which was by then 5pm-ish), all I could do was stare at the ceiling and was spaced out somewhere in my internal cave. Didn’t even want to look at the mobile phone nor laptop at all.

Basically, I just purged myself from all social medias completely for 3 days. Yesterday, I came back on just to keep abreast of any necessary and important updates then went offline again. Today, I am back again but with limited time too.

This is my way of keeping and staying well mentally and emotionally.

What I received from my brother-in-law which was very timely is an article called ‘Empathy Hurt’.
It says, ‘Empathy Hurt’ is “when we have been paying a lot of attention to the current pandemic crisis, news and information for a long time, the substitution caused by compassion will hurt our mental well-being and health, making us feel anxious, worried, depressed, angry and even mentally broken.”

How many of us are aware of this?

Well, it goes on to say, “… when we take in too much, it will make us feel ‘breathless’ (exactly, how I’d felt last Friday even though I have been mindful and careful). Psychological stress will cause the rise of body stress and lead to a rapid decline in body immunity …”

With this affirmation, I realised I’d done the right thing last Friday to keep and stay well (as much as I am able to. The rest is sup to the Unknown. Being aware and prepared that I could possibly be a carrier. Who knows? Only the Great I Am does).

By purging myself completely from the social medias, by staying in my cocoon and cave protecting and guarding myself just resting, sleeping, painting, drawing, cataloguing photos, documents, having meaningful conversation and laughing heartily certainly helped.

Oh yes! I watched the hillls and mountains, the scenery spread before me - watching the traffic passing by, listening to the sounds of vehicles and know ‘this’ sounds different, look up to see a train of gigantic army trucks going up north transporting some kind of metal steel bars and others are covered up so can’t tell what was inside.

For those who process the power of empathy (a good quality to have yet can drain us out when not careful), watch out for yourself.
 Watch your own backs.
Know these signs to look out for.
Stay well and keep well.

Do what you need to do (despite what others may say, coz only you know yourself better than them) to keep your sanity and balance.
Rejuvenate and refresh yourself again.
Stay blessed.

Sending love, positive energy, courage, strength, hope and peace to all.
❤️🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳❤️

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