As Easter approaches I am surprised by the unexpected experience (although not new but I much prefer smaller doses of them then an avalaunch of memories) I am experiencing and expected to do (like coming out in the open and talking about it).
As much as I'm negotiating (internally) with the 'Man Upstairs!', deep within I know what needs to be done. Yet, I have absolutely no courage or strength to face it or do it.
On one hand, I do know what must be done. Yet, on the other hand I am terrified even at the thought.
In the midst of all the internal struggles and negotiating, the daily routines still goes on. Work still needs to be done. Chores still needs attending to. Stomachs still needs to be fed. Weather getting colder as the days goes yet today, it was quite nice and sunny except when the wind blows it can get quite cold. The birds, bees & insects are starting to appear. I can hear the birds singing. Ants crawling in Bats-Ombak's bathroom. Daffodils blooming.
Yet, deep within (consciously or unconsciously) something is happening & only God knows what. Time has become my friend and in time, it will be revealed.
Whatever it may be, I ask for courage and strength to face my greatest enemy - myself.
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