My LilSistah ...
She is going to soar and fly hign very soon now
leaving us on this earthly life
to venture into death ... the after life
Free from the earthly excruciating pain and suffering
As much as it hurts and pains my heart to see her go through this
... I see a blessing in disguise
as she and us still have the opportunity of saying 'goodbye', making all the necessary preperations to the details of her wishes
which i realise not many have such priviledge to do so.
Knowing her for 51 years,
... what she must be going through
her fears,, her worries, the struggle of letting go everything - her paintings, artworks,, her start of being recognised and valued for her paintings in the art world, reaching recognition and status of soaring even greater heights
her worry, anxiety and fear of leaving her husband h=behind knowing how much he is oging to struggle without her and the speeration
You both build a dream.. a dream home, all pretilly decorated and specifications to the hilt of where and what it would become one day came to pass
but who know that the day you both came back to your dream home...
was the time you fell ill and only had such a short time of spending these few months of suffering in your sweet dream home
instead of what your dreams has actually been for both of you
.. in your retirement years to enjoy and grow ol together
This si far too much for you both to bear
your shattered plans and dreams
like fragile glass smittering onto the ground in just a split of secone
when you found out you had cancer.
... og God...
this is far too much for anyone to bear
even though we know people who have gone through this in our lives where we know they got on with life, some healed, some still carries pain and loss in their hearts
oh God...
have mercy and grace for my precious LilSistah and her husband
I am sorry../ so sorrrrry for I was never enough for you both... especially you
Your expectations of me was too great and heavy to carry and bear yet I did my best when I did
... yet it was never enough
I am so so very sorrrry, my precious LilSistah
my one and only one
who will be leaving us soon
No matter how much I've prepared myself, prepare Mom for your departure
.. it never is ok when the time comes
We will still grief your loss and feel the pain of seperation
how long... no one knows.
Will we every heal... no one knows.
Will we ever come to terms with your departure .. no one knows.
Yet, we know that life still goes on like everyday
